I think this was my favourite post EVER to write, because I had the best co-author!
Alex and I really enjoyed discussing all of these questions, and we hope that they will be able to encourage you in whatever season you find yourself in. So let’s get right into it!
** Disclaimer: All of these answers are based on our own opinions and experiences. We are not claiming to be perfect, as we have made our fair share of mistakes! This is just what we have learned and apply in our own relationship.**
How did you meet?
We met at a winter youth retreat when we were fifteen! At the time, we hardly talked. But two years later our paths crossed again through mutual friends. This time we started to talk and we really clicked!
How did trust come to your relationship?
Through time, prayer and actions. It was slow at first, as we learned more about each other. It was kind of like a process of seeing how the other would respond when we told them something relatively “small”, and then building on that over time. We were friends for a while before we started dating so that definitely helped!
Can / should I date someone who isn’t a Christian?
Read this post. 🙂
What is the hardest part about being a devoted Christian couple?
In all honesty, nothing has really been “hard”! Because we were both raised with Christian backgrounds, we came into this relationship with the same views on nearly everything. But if we were to name one challenge, it would be the opinions of non-Christian friends on how we choose to do things. (For example: waiting for marriage, not living together before our wedding, not going on overnight trips together, etc.) To us the understanding of these things just comes naturally because of the way we grew up. We don’t feel the need to justify our beliefs, but sometimes it gets awkward in conversations with other people because it seems strange to them.
Do you think kissing in a relationship is okay?
It honestly depends on the couple. This is such a personal topic – for some couples, they can kiss without it causing temptation for more. But for others it can be the root of a bigger problem. If you are both committed to purity, it’s wise to have strong boundaries for how often/where you kiss. This is an area that’s so valuable to talk about with your partner and set your own boundaries based on personal convictions and struggles with temptation.
How far is “too far” for a Christian relationship?
Both of us dislike this question. The problem with drawing a line of “too far” is that you’re basically saying everything up to that line is okay. This makes it incredibly easy to cross the line. We should always strive to be as far away from “the line” as possible. In our human nature, we want a clear cut answer of what we can and cannot do. How we can please God while also satisfying our own desires. But this question is the wrong question to ask. Rather, we should be asking how we can best honour Christ through our relationships, how we can best respect our partner and our future spouse. When we are focused on pursuing a relationship that honours Christ, quite often the physical attributes of dating get left on the back burner.
What kind of boundaries did you establish from the start, and did they change? If so, how?
A few boundaries that we set are:
- not spending extended period of times alone
- not hanging out in each others bedrooms or behind closed doors
- not allowing ourselves to “get bored” when we hang out (always having some sort of a plan)
- being mindful of the movies we watch/music we listen to together + apart
- being conscious of whether our actions towards each other are respectful or not.
We regularly discuss our boundaries and what improvements we can implement. We are by no means perfect, but always strive to be “better than yesterday”. Our boundaries have actually gotten tighter the longer we’ve been together/closer we get to marriage! We’ve always had a clear vision of what we want our relationship to look like and how we view purity which has set a guideline for our boundaries. Ultimately it comes down to how we can best glorify God and respect each others hearts and bodies.
If you were to receive $10,000 to start a charity, what/who would it be for?
Britt’s would be something that supports victims of human trafficking. Not only by finding them and rescuing them, but also providing the support needed to heal physically, mentally and emotionally. It would reintegrate them into normal lives and provide them with tools to thrive. Alex’s would be a system or a place where people can go and get back on their feet from whatever they have been struggling with – whether that’s food related, drug abuse, homelessness, etc. It would be a place that offers them counselling, food, beds, job opportunities, whatever they need. Just a place to help people with a whole spectrum of different aspects.
Do you believe in “the one”?
During the process of searching for a spouse, neither of us thinks that there is just one specific mate out there per person. If that was the case, there would be a lot of people who never meet their spouse because their paths just didn’t line up! We think that it’s more so about finding someone who has the same morals, values, and goals as you and that you enjoy spending time with and are physically attracted to (yes, that is also important!), and then committing to make things work no matter what. However, once you are married, then we believe that your spouse is the only one for you.
How did you know you wanted to marry each other?
I (Brittany) knew that I wanted to marry Alex when I lost him at my cousin’s birthday party and found him riding plasma cars downstairs with all of the little girls. Seeing the way he interacted with my family, especially the kids, I knew this was the guy I wanted to spend my life and raise my own family with. (This was before we even went on our official first date!) Over time my awe for him continued to grow as I learned more about him, saw his kind heart and passion for everything that he does, and witnessed how ambitious and hardworking he is.
I (Alex) realized Brittany was the girl I wanted to marry while at the same party mentioned above. Seeing Brittany interact with her family and being the oldest cousin taking care of all the younger ones showed me how much of a caring heart she had. It was so cool seeing how much everyone loved her and how her whole family welcomed me in with open arms, and I knew that I never wanted to lose her. (Edit; we are just realizing now that our moments happened at the same time haha!)
We have the same dreams in life and enjoy spending time together regardless of what we’re doing! Our lives are just better by each others sides, and we fall more in love each day. Getting married was a pretty easy decision for us.
How have you grown stronger in the past year as a couple?
Both of us have gotten new jobs in the past year and a half which has meant seeing each other less, causing our communication skills to grow. We each moved out on our own for a few months which gave us a taste of adulthood (and showed us that it would be so much nicer to just live together, rather than alone!) We’ve had some road bumps that we had to overcome that caused us to see how much we value each other. We’ve also both grown in our personal walks with Christ which overflows into our relationship as well.
How has God worked in your lives separately and as a couple?
For me (Britt), He has been teaching me how to trust Him and lean on Him in every season. He has led me towards job opportunities that are perfect for me and allow me to witness to others each day. He has given me a heart for encouraging other people and for the broken. I’ve been learning that walking with Him is always more fulfilling than anything the world can offer, and that the closer I draw to Him, the bigger my capacity to love others becomes.
For me (Alex), He’s given me opportunities to talk to people I would not have spoken to otherwise. He’s shown me how much hurt some people in the world hold inside, has taught me to not be so quick to judge but to be understanding and get to know people better. He has giving me the push I need to get into prayer and to talk with Him and put all my faith and trust in Him.
Together, we are constantly seeing how much we need to depend on Him for, and how much better our relationship is when we strive to glorify Him rather than our own selfish desires. There are so many “God moments” sprinkled in our love story. So many things that have only been possible because of Him. It’s really neat to see.
Thank you so much once again for your questions, and for reading this post! We had so much fun putting it together.
♡ A + B
Letters From Britt 